Saturday DO

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DO: verbalize it

I recently found myself in conversation, taking a stand for something that matters to me. I voiced how important it was for me that I say something. “I wouldn’t expect anything less,” said the other participant. And you know what? That’s something that I like about myself. When I think something, when I truly want something or feel a certain way – I don’t keep it a mystery, I say it.

So many of us walk through life with desires and opinions swirling around in our heads, but we’re too scared to ever say them out loud. We make ourselves into puzzles for others to figure out – holding in emotions and pent up resentments towards life and other people, wondering why we don’t get our way.

Well the truth is, sometimes you just have to verbalize it. When you say something out loud, it becomes known – people can’t always read your mind. Let the words float off your lips and take form in the universe as a concrete thought and idea that others are aware of. You have to build an outward identity through voiced opinions, and get what you want by asking for it. There may be that moment of extreme heart palpitations, sweaty palms, “oh no, you can’t say it,” but I can guarantee you that you’ll almost always feel better if you do. Even if that boy doesn’t want to make it official or your boss can’t give you that raise, you’ll know that you tried, and you might settle with understanding why you can’t have it. You can always rework your goals or how you’re going to get where you want to go, but you won’t know that you need to unless you have that conversation.

Either way, be a person with a point of view and passions. Let them be known. Verbalize them when it matters and get things off your chest.

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Comments

samantha -April 21, 2012, 10:01AM

I have been struggling with this. Whether it is thinking too much about telling my significant other how much I care/ love him or even asking my parents for help. I let it swirl around in my mind too afraid of what would be said back to me. I think reading this is helpful to us all and the mind set of at least you tried because the what-if will kill ya.

Annie -April 21, 2012, 5:02PM

Thank you for this post. I recently stood up for myself and confronted someone (something I NEVER do) and while it was embarrassing (I cried) and I didn’t get the outcome I wanted, it was so freeing to say it out loud instead of having these yucky feelings stirring and building inside me. I feel like I needed a little break down to break out of that situation and keep moving. It’s not better now, but I am.

chloe -April 21, 2012, 7:52PM

this fits my life so perfectly right now its kind of creepy. thank you!!

C. -April 22, 2012, 7:07PM

Like Annie, I stood up for myself recently. Not only was it for myself, but for at least 8 others who, like myself, kept silent in hopes that things would get better . After what felt like a violent barage of insult and attack from a professional/mentor figure, I couldn’t take it anymore and “lashed” back. This friendship/mentorship is ruined with this person, but I am trying to recover and repair that while still maintaining my stanceagainst the maltreatment from this person onto myself and my peers/colleagues. Speaking out against wrong doing is difficult but repressing it or turning a cheek is disastrous. I consider myself in strength-training.

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