“Dear Brian… my boyfriend stays up all night playing video games. I understand that they make him happy, but I want him to spend time with me! What can I do to get him to stop?”
Okay… let’s back up a sec. Last time we were here, I learned that a man’s “terrible style” isn’t enough to keep him single. And now a full-blown video game addiction is not a deal-breaker? What the heck is going on here? Why have I been trying so hard? Seriously, if you’ve got a boyfriend who you refuse to dump despite his “Call Me Maybe” obsession, please write in because I’m ready to drop this silly charade.
For my own sanity, I’m just going to assume that your boyfriend is some kind of brain surgeon or underwear model or whatever and treat the video game thing as a small blip on an otherwise flawless radar. And I appreciate that you’re being diplomatic about this. He could be playing video games for any number of reasons: hanging out with his friends online, relieving some stress (I’d imagine surgeries are tough), enjoying a little “me” time, etc. All of these things are important so I think that making him stop completely is out of the question.
But you definitely shouldn’t be ignored and I think the only approach to this is the direct one. Your boyfriend may not realize how this is affecting you, so try being explicit about wanting to spend time with him. Make specific plans to hang out. Schedule a date night if need be. Let him know how much you like hanging out with him and how much you look forward to it during the day. And be flexible. Maybe Wednesday is “Halo Night” with his buddies, so try to consider those out of bounds. It will show that you’re not trying to change him and that you understand his need for some recreational time.
To be clear, though: you should feel comfortable making these totally reasonable requests. If this approach falls on deaf ears or you’re not getting any sort of understanding from your boyfriend, then I’m afraid there’s a deeper issue. And in that case, the only thing I can think of doing is coming home one night dressed as Princess Peach, calling him Mario, and seeing where things wind up. And I just grossed myself out by typing that.
In need of some relationship advice? Leave your questions for Brian in the comments, or to keep it confidential, send to firstname.lastname@example.org!!
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