UPDATE: This post originally ran on February 24th but we thought we’d share it again for some weekend inspiration :).
The idea of solitude has a somber ring to it; the thought of being alone can bring about memories touched with lonely sadness, while thoughts of being surrounded by others can bring memories of joy. But solitude, like all things, truly depends on the way you look at it.
I, for one, absolutely love being alone. Some of the best times I’ve had are ones where I’ve been in no one else’s company but my own. I always enjoy hanging out with myself at home, and I equally love going shopping alone. I find that I’m productive and relaxed… and I always make sure to remain just as silly as when I’m with others.
There are certain activities, though, that I would never dream of doing alone. Sure, some things are just more fun with others by my side, but maybe sometimes I want those people to be there partly because the idea of them not being there… scares me. I fear I won’t know what to do when I’m there by myself (wherever that “there” may be). I fear I’ll have a question and I’ll be forced to ask an unfamiliar face. I fear that others will see me and think, “What’s wrong with that girl? Why is she here by herself?”
But you know what? Please pardon my language, but those fears are complete and total bullshit. Truly. I won’t know what to do when I’m there by myself? I’m a pretty smart girl. I’m sure I can figure it out. I’ll have a question and I have to ask an unfamiliar face? Great! Where’s the problem there? Meeting new people is healthy thing to do. People are just people, just as you and I are. People will think there’s something wrong with me? They’ll question why I’m alone? Well, I mean, maybe one or two will wonder why I’m alone, but I have a feeling the conclusion they come to will have nothing to do with there being something wrong with me. And if it does… why should I care? I’ll never even know! Am I really worried about a thought that a person I don’t know… MIGHT have? Silliness. Pure silliness. Madness, even.
Yet I’m sure I’m not alone in these worries. If you’re with me, let’s do something about it. Together… yet separately. I challenge you to go somewhere alone. Somewhere you’ve never before dreamt of going alone. Go. Just go. Even if it’s for four and a half minutes. Do it. You might just find out you like it better that way.
Go for a drive. Grab your film camera and take yourself for a scenic drive, with no destination in sight. Roll down the windows, blast that song again and again, and truly experience the freedom you’ve been given. Stop often, or not at all. If something you see sparks your interest, pull over. Maybe it’s a retro-looking diner up ahead, or a field of flowers you spot in the distance. Go there, be there, and take it all in.
Hang out at a cafe. You know that cafe, the one with an atmosphere so cozy you could just live in it. Go there, sans computer. Bring a book or some watercolors , bring your headphones… or not. Sip slowly, taking in not just the beautiful flavor and aroma, but also the warm, calming energy around you. Allow yourself to sink into that perfectly worn-in cushion, and stay all afternoon.
Relax at the library. Choose the oldest looking fiction book you can find, and open it midway. Sit on the floor, crossed-legged, between two bookcases. Maybe even take your shoes off. Start reading and don’t stop. Make up the first half of the book in your mind. Pretend you’re one of the characters. Feel her emotions. Experience her experiences. Cry if you need to. Allow yourself to get lost in the world that exists on those pages before your eyes
Wander through a museum. It could be an old favorite, or one you’ve never before experienced. In either case, go with a fresh perspective. Seek to learn something new and to be inspired to think, make, or do in a brand new way. Don’t feel the need to visit every room or stay for a certain amount of time. Go to experience it as it comes, and when you come to a point where you feel fulfilled, head on home.
Treat yourself to a fancy meal. Get dressed up for a date with no one but yourself. Feel confident, and go. Order something you can’t pronounce. Save room for dessert. Take every bite as if it were your first. Learn your waiter’s name. When you say “thank you,” mean it. Feel gratitude for all of those who partook in making this meal possible, from the person who planted that tomato seed that became part of your salad, all the way to the one who delivered the chair on which you sit. Marvel at the incredible skills possessed by each of those people, and then marvel at all of your own.
Go to a show. Music is a powerful thing. Choose a band that you know will make you feel something. Go alone and ready to dance. Close your eyes, let the beautiful vibrations move you, internally and externally. Make a new friend, just for the night. Leave feeling refreshed and full of positivity.
Take an art class. Be it painting, pottery, improv, or anything else, put yourself in a situation that teaches you to harness your creativity in new ways. Use your hands, your eyes, your brain, and your soul. Let creative energy flow through you, and express it in ways you never thought possible. Let it in, let it out, and never think twice about it.
See a movie. Get a huge bucket of popcorn (or sneak in your own). Get there early. Find the best seat. Watch every preview. Look around from time to time, at this room filled with strangers who are all sharing a similar experience at once. Feel comfort in this sense of community, as you all laugh and cry together. Realize that, while you may be by yourself, you’re certainly not alone.
What will you venture off to do on your own?
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I like being alone a lot too…I do 90% of these things alone lol…My friends call me a hermit, which they say they love about me. ;)
xx
~Taylor
http://awakeningbohemia.blogspot.com/2014/02/silver-linings.html
Go to a show, go to a show, go to a show. I go to 99% of my shows alone. No one has ever looked at me weird. Besides, I am there to enjoy the music, not my friends. That sounded cranky, but it’s really not. Why should my husband pay for a band he doesn’t care for? He shouldn’t! And I have never felt like I missed out because I went alone. In fact, I am looking forward to June when I see Conor Oberst. I am gonna dance and laugh and feel and sing make friends with everyone and no one. :)
Cafes, libraries, and museums are meditative for me. I love to think and people watch.
Love this post. These are some of my favorite things to do by myself. Its so nice to be alone sometimes. I’ve never tried going to a movie by myself before. I’ll have to try that because no one ever wants to see the ones I want to see!
Sometimes I have anxiety going places alone, I know that the only way I can combat it, is if I break out of my comfort zone and do these things. Thank you for the inspiration and motivation!
http://juliettelaura.blogspot.com
“..but maybe sometimes I want those people to be there partly because the idea of them not being there… scares me. I fear I won’t know what to do when I’m there by myself (wherever that “there” may be). I fear I’ll have a question and I’ll be forced to ask an unfamiliar face. I fear that others will see me and think..”
I felt like you were reading my mind, I could relate to this so much. I like being alone but there is always this fear.. Or should I say was? Yes, there was this stupid fear. Words can’t describe how much this post helped me. Thank you Brigette! <3
I really love this post. Especially since extroversion is looked upon as superior, taking time to do things alone is a beautiful experience.
Such wonderful adventurous ideas… I really love the thought of embarking on a new journey and experiencing the way fully through all of your senses. It helps you feel the truth of life, the joy of living. Thank you for the invitation to explore something fully in a new way. https://www.etsy.com/shop/TheWeaverOfWords
Thank you, I’m going to see my favourite band by myself tomorrow, and whilst I’m usually not nervous to go see music by myself, I’m going to an entirely different city where I don’t know anyone or the venue.
You’ve just reminded me that everyone is there for the same reason and I already have something in common with them all. Thank you, you guys are wonderful. xo
I love being alone, but I always get too nervous to actually do things like eating out by myself. Today I started a Silversmithing course alone and it was great! Next up is an exercise class.
http://www.fawnandthistle.com
This is such a cool post. I think hopping out of our comfort zone & doing things by ourselves is how happiness starts! When you’re alone, you learn not to take the judgment of others. & likewise, you typically won’t jump to judge others easier because you’re in a more vulnerable position… alone. In reality, we are never alone… we always are connected to technology in some way. So ladies, leave your phones at home & spend a day catering to your own needs! :)
I love doing things on my own. Your able to go at your own pace without feeling rushed or worried that your irritating someone by looking for the right book. Plus, my husband hates browsing so when we are shopping he’s in and out. But I like to browse and make sure I’m getting exactly what I want. My favorite alone time, shopping in the craft store. I can go hours in a craft store and no one ever wants to go with me anyways. Lol
On Saturday night, my plans with friends came through at the last minute. Instead of moping around at home, I went to a yoga class that I’d never been to before. I loved being by myself. I was going to go to dinner solo too, but I was too intimidated… next time I’ll go for it! Thanks for the inspiration, Brigette! What a beautiful post!
I l-o-v-e this post. I swear my friends think I’m crazy because as much as I love spending time with them, I love spending time with myself just as much (if not more). Especially shows! Concerts are my vice and I find such peace going to see some of my favorite bands live, infact, the best shows I’ve ever been to have been date night with myself. Besides your in a sea of people all sharing the same passion- what could be better?
I absolutely loved this post — and all of these great suggestions! I can totally relate to the writer; I feel so confident when I am out doing things alone, but sometimes I get inexplicably anxious right before taking that first step out the door. It doesn’t make sense, and the only way to cure that anxiety is to just do it! Get out of the house, and go see the world. It’s always fun to have a companion in an adventure, or important to have other’s perspectives, but it’s just as crucial to be in touch with your own self as well, and to build that confidence. These are all places I have used as my destination when going out by myself, but sometimes I just go out to walk as well, and take photos of what I see with my camera.
xxx
http://www.threadandbones.com
Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful!!!!! Yes, people need to appreciate solitude which is not the same as being lonely. I have done and still do all these things all by my lonesome and love it. Now I have to take the little one with me but it is still just the two of us all dressed up at a restaurant. One time I took my 20 months old to a restaurant and the waiter kept asking if I was waiting for someone else and I said, No. It’s girls night out. His smile was priceless.
I love the idea of taking a long drive alone. Have never done that before but it sounds truly liberating!
Long drives alone are the best !! Gives you time to think and if you take a flask of tea and a book with you for when you stop it is the perfect alone afternoon !
x Victoria
Such a lovely post! I’m in complete understanding of where you are coming from.
It is really bullshit. I wanna go out and do all of these things!
Wonderful post. I was just talking to a friend today about going to a comedy show together but turns out she can’t come. After reading this I think I’ll buy my ticket and just go alone! Why not? Thank you!
I love this and honestly speaking, this is probably one of my favorite blogpost ever! ♥
Great post. I love my husband and my friends and family, but sometimes it’s just nice to sit quietly by yourself, gather your thoughts and experience the world,
http://prettyflorals.co.uk
What an excellent article. Its great to read how others also agree with you as well. This would also be a good following to Oprah’s recent “Just Say Hello” validation. One thing I enjoy when I am with myself is at least acknowledging others around me or that I may pass, even if its just giving them a smile.
Solitude is so necessary, even more so in relationships. As I’ve learned from my almost 50 years, you have to be able to MISS someone to also appreciate them.
It also grounds you to be able to breathe, look around and really try to meditate or stop yourself from not focusing on even the littlest things in your life.
And April, go to dates alone ~ I love when I do and also when I can come home to my boyfriend and tell him about the wonderful time I had just ‘running AMOK’…
I love this post. I agree with everything. I love company, but I love being alone… sometimes you just NEED it.
This is great :) Solitude is so important and certainly isn’t something to fear! Thanks for sharing these great ideas!
i think i’ll go see an indie film on my own this weekend…..
today, over lunch i sat at a busy cafe alone….. it was wonderful…