When It All Falls Down: 10 Ways To Lift Yourself Up

This post comes from our Australia contributor, Bianca Boulden!

I’ve been in some unpleasant situations in my life, to say the least. Who hasn’t though, right? That’s life, you win some and you loose some. Live and learn, it’s the best medicine. Some of the situations were of my own creation and others came straight out of left field and were nearly impossible to prepare for. So I wanted to share with you a list of things I discovered that helped me find some relief during my personal rock bottom episodes.

Be nice to people.

Yes it may be corny but kindness is underrated. When was the last time you asked a friend, a family member or even a perfect stranger if they are OK? You could be standing next to somebody in line for your coffee that is completely broken and you wouldn’t even know it. Just starting a conversation and being kind is all they may need to lift them up for the day. If you can be kind through your dark time and not bite the unsuspected heads off of the innocent bystanders, you’ll find that your personal happiness is uplifted as well. I’m not saying it will pay your bills but it will give you personal satisfaction and gratification. As they say, what goes around comes around – spread good karma.

Accomplish something.

When I have experienced something devastating or feel as though whatever I do is pointless or goes unnoticed, or when I am struggling between groceries and the rent for the week, even small accomplishments are worthy to note. Go for a walk, clean out your wardrobe, clean your house, finish that book that’s been sitting next to your bed for 6 months, even write a book — put the pen to paper and see what happens! I volunteered at an animal shelter because animals make me happy. So do the same, what ever you will feel good about and will make you smile.


Let it go. The only things you can actually control are what you do, say, and think, you can seriously reduce the crushing stress that comes with challenging life events by allowing yourself to let go of that which you can’t control..


Treat yourself.

I’m not saying go spend a BOMB on designer clothes or those $400 boots you have had your ear on all over Instagram but just a little something, it has always helped me. For me it was a crystal or a new record. The music took me to another world and the crystal empowered me.

Be with Nature.

It’s easy to get stuck in your comfort zone, the couch or your room or bed, but getting stuck in routine often means  you actually don’t get to enjoy the little things in life that should make you happy. For me I get high just from looking at a sunset or the perfect line of palm trees. I can’t even describe to you what the ocean does. It gives me goose bumps, like it’s my soul mate and it understands me. Go for a hike up a mountain, lay on the grass and watch the clouds or walk along the sand and let your feet hit the water. Breathe it all in and you will feel a lot better then sitting in your PJ’s for days.


Cry it out.

I’m not the best at crying; it takes me a bit to do it. I will go through stages where I would cry even at movies and then I will be so strong that it scares me. Sometimes you just need to let it out. So when you do… let it out.

Do something new and exciting.

Maybe you’ve been thinking about learning to surf, or perhaps you wanted to start taking dance classes, why not try? You will learn something new and meet new people. Don’t allow yourself to settle into misery. I made myself do things I had never done before and it brought me so much perspective and gratitude, not to mention fun!

Reach out to someone.

And I don’t mean reach out to someone and unload all your misery on them, everyone has their issues, they don’t need yours too. I mean reach out to someone in friendship, rekindle a relationship with someone that might have grown stagnate, force yourself to be around other people and feign happiness. Fake the happiness until you feel it. Fake it until you make it, lovers.


Do something for someone else.

Go out of your way to do good for others, realize that you are not the only person on the planet who is struggling, that there tons of people in your town and city who are having a tougher time than you are.


Do whatever it takes to make yourself laugh. Get on YouTube, call that friend that always has a funny awkward story, put on a movie that gets you every time… Step Brothers is good one.

Happiness is fleeting. It’s rarely, if ever, a constant state of being for anyone, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t pursue it even when there seems to be nothing worthy of that happiness. You can either let life and its struggles swallow you whole or fight your way to a silver lining. Remember, your happiness is your responsibility. I say FIGHT!


“The only real failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows.”

Words Bianca Boulden

Photos Jenna Agius

Model Dani Bonnor


  1. I love your perspective on this… It’s so true — and so helpful to realize — that at any given time, there are tons of people going through their own really really tough times. We all need to help each other. <3

  2. Keep the faith…It’s a definitive of life – it changes. Just hold on till the next breath brings fresh air and new horizons xx

  3. I loved this post and these are all amazing suggestions. Spending time in nature and making the time to unplug from social media has really helped me overcome moments when I’m feeling down. There is just something so therapeutic about being outside.


  4. Thank you so much for writing exactly what I needed to hear! I’m so in between careers and starting new ones and I’m ALL over the place and I find myself sadly on the couch from being so overwhelmed lol!

  5. As strange as it sounds, I think giving yourself permission to feel down sometimes is helpful to feeling better. Like your article mentioned, happiness is rarely a constant state for anyone. Some days are just bad days, and it’s okay to acknowledge that. If I give myself a day to mope and cry, usually by the next day, I feel much better. LIke a weight has been lifted off of me.

  6. Run away to the beach! A change of atmosphere can instantly perk one up. This is such a lovely read; I do agree that you give yourself time to recover, to cry it out completely and then come back stronger than before.

    Thanks for sharing! x, C.

  7. you’ve never experienced actual depression, have you? if someone is at “rock bottom” of a depression, most of these things aren’t even feasible. The brain just doesn’t work that way. And “pretend to be happy” ? Why? And why do you think that’s possible? This article isn’t for people in actual long standing pain, this article is for people who are having a hiccup.

  8. Beautiful words! You gave me inspiration to at least try to feel better and I love what you wrote about the ocean

  9. I read your words and all I can say is thank you for sharing them!
    There have been many times that I have found what you said to be true <3 . 1st ~ Is it alright if I share it on my Facebook page? 2nd ~ If it is how do I do it?

  10. Thank You for this post, it contained a lot of inspirational and healing aspects that we all neglect especially when we are going through a tough time.

  11. I saw this post and read it just on the day when I really needed to hear it. It was like it was put here and meant for me. Thank you for that! :)

  12. thanks so much, this article really gave me some ideas … things I already knew, but had basically forgotten, or thought I didn’t need to do anymore of. Thank you.

  13. Absolutely LOVED this. Especially the kindness one. It always makes my whole day if some stranger is friendly to me while I’m having a down time. I definitely need to do that more often myself! Thank you!

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