Love Letters: Text Me

This week’s question is one of my favorites yet, because it involves a topic I think a lot of people in the dating world are dealing with. For better or worse, texting has changed the way we communicate. Call me old school, but I sort of feel like sometimes we’re dating our phones. What do you think?

Q: I met this great guy the other night and I was wondering what the rules are for texting. Do you wait for him to text you the next day or are you supposed to initiate conversation? If he doesn’t text you immediately does it mean he just not that into you?

A: This is one of my favorite questions, because it involves so many questions! In general, that’s what texting does to the dating world. It creates way too many questions. Personally, I like a guy to do me the courtesy of calling me on the phone to discuss plans to meet up, etc. I just feel it is the kind, respectful thing to do. Others prefer texting, and I completely understand that. However, be aware that it’s a guy (or girl)¬†worth dating, you really won’t have all of these stressful questions. He’ll simply make it known he’s interested in you, and he’ll get in touch. When you do communicate, I strongly suggest taking your conversations off of texting as much as possible, and meeting up in person to get to know each other better.


  1. I agree with you on this Shani…he should call you on the phone. It’s so much more personal than sending a text. I have been married for 18 yrs and cannot imagine my husband sending me a text asking for a date…haha maybe I am old school…texting for me kills the romance!

  2. One thing we must remember is that guys are just as shy as us! There’s so much pressure on men to “make the first move” and be “gentlemen,” but it’s difficult to tell if you like someone after a few conversations. I say take the initiative and send him a text- even call him, if you’re bold enough. It takes the pressure off of him, and even you, during this awkward phase of a relationship. Let him know you’re interested and if he’s not, so be it! This sounds stressful and rejection hurts, but waiting for him will just make you feel anxious and too hopeful (in the case that it doesn’t work out)

  3. Hi
    I just found this place today and I like it.
    For us who are older and dating, the texting thing is totally weird. I agree that after initially contacting a perspective date by text, then talking to the guy would be the next stage..butterflies in stomach scenario.
    But the tables have turned out there in the dating scene..women use to call all the shots and now men take charge of being elusive, chosey and indecisive. Basically, if they are not calling…why bother. :)
    And another case I’ve come across, is that you have been talking to a guy on the phone but have not met yet and hook up for a date and it goes well..what happens next is he doesn’t call and you don’t call. I wondered what he didn’t like about me and then I stopped wondering because if you put your best friend in that situation would you want to her to go through that. No!

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