Rituals for Self-Love Beyond Your Relationship Status

“Whether you are in a partnership, flirting with love, or exploring the single life, your relationship status isn’t the barometer for the love and joy you can have in your life… Especially when it comes to the Queen of all love — self-love.”

This post comes to you from teacher, speaker, author, business owner and intuitive oracle reader, Aarona Lea Pichinson.

Please know that you do indeed love yourself. It’s why you are here reading this. It’s why you’re curious to become a healthier you, it’s why you crave more love and connection, and it’s the reason that you take life’s toughest lessons and turn them into gold. You are likely also learning how to be more kind and loving with yourself, as you simultaneously unpack old belief systems that have thrown a few self-love bumps in the road. Both can be true at the same time – “I love myself and I am learning how to love myself”.

We are all a work in progress, full of depth and discovery. Each of us is learning how to navigate a practice of self-care, self-love and self-understanding so that we can live with a more calm and confident presence while giving and receiving wholeheartedly in the relationships we care about most.

Embrace Your Feelings

If you are craving more love in your life, calling in the one, or working on deepening a current relationship, take a moment to consider your actual feelings beneath your desire for deeper love. It could be that you want to feel a sense of connection, security, comfort, confidence, or balance. Or maybe you have a deep desire to be seen and to see another, or to share more intimately and vulnerably with someone you care about. When we connect to the actual feelings beneath the desire, it gives us a tangible compass to follow and emulate, whether or not the said desire has arrived yet.

Once you’re clear what your true feelings are beneath your desire for greater love, practice literally ‘wearing’ these feelings as though it’s natural and easy for you. Nourish yourself with them.

Regularly practice embodying these core feelings when you’re grocery shopping, hanging out with friends, working, exercising, and anything else that fills your day. Doing this even just once a day is a big step and adds up by the end of a week. It will cultivate an unshakeable sense of self-love and inward connection that is not dependent on an external connection. Which is exactly the energy we want to feel most at home with as our dreams and desires arrive. If we habitually look outside of ourselves for love or wait to love ourselves until the perfect partnership is in place, we allow these precious moments to slip by when there is so much magic readily available to explore just as you are right now.

Two Rituals for Self-Love:

Within the next couple of days, take some time to pause and go within. The following rituals will put all of this into action and help you to embody deep self-love.

  1. Handwrite a Love Letter to Yourself

 This powerful writing ritual will bring you home to your sweet self while nourishing your sense of value and worth. Make this self-love letter carry as much (or more!) heart and soul as you would put into a love letter for someone else.

  • Feel free to light a candle and grab a cup of tea to set the mood. Grab a pen and paper, take a few deep breaths, feel into your heart, and let your pen flow with as much tenderness and presence as possible. Be sure to write in first person and present tense.
  • How loving, kind, understanding, compassionate, and accepting can you be with yourself? Tell her how much you appreciate all that she does for you, all the ways she shows up, and the incredible resilience she has had throughout your entire life. Let yourself know that you are well loved and cared for. Point out all of your favorite things about yourself; include your talents, your beauty, your personality, your wins, your loyalty, your creativity, your willingness to grow, your style, etc. If you get stuck or uncomfortable at any point, take a few deep breaths, feel what is present, and begin writing again. Reclaim your wholeness, remind yourself of your worth, and witness the beauty in your vulnerability. Whatever feelings come up is totally okay.
  • Once you’ve written your love letter, seal it with a kiss, fold it up with care, and place it somewhere safe. You can put it in a journal, hide it in a book or drawer, or place it on your altar with some stones on top so that it can marinate in love until you’re ready to refresh and write a new one. 

  1. Enhance Your Intuition with Oracle Cards

You can work with cards alongside your Self-Love Letter Ritual or any time of day that works well for you. It can be a wonderful morning or evening practice and only takes a few minutes.

Working with an oracle deck is an intentional way to connect with your intuition. The more you connect with and listen to your intuition, the more powerful this inner-voice becomes. When we validate our feelings and strengthen our inner compass, we cultivate deep trust in ourselves which informs our choices and our boundaries – a true act of self-love.

As you shuffle and then choose your cards, feel into what they tell you and trust the insights you receive. You may meditate or journal on what you discover. The more you work with your favorite deck the more they begin to really speak to you.

A little love and ritual goes a long way. As the author of the healing and ritual oracle cards The Moon Deck, I know these practices work when done sincerely and consistently. So feel free to start small and breathe big.

Today is the Day

Fall in love with yourself even as you explore love with others. Find ways to nourish your body, mind, and soul daily, even if you only have 3 minutes a day. Today isn’t a dress rehearsal for tomorrow. This is it, today is the day, right here and right now. Feel your fullness and beauty with all that you are in this very moment. Trust the wisdom of your path, the alignment that is making its way into your flow when you let go, and the vast love that is available to you when you choose to feel it.


+ Want more? Join me for my free weekly Moonday Oracle Readings, Live on Instagram and Facebook, every Monday at 12pm PST. This free virtual moon gathering will teach you more about The Moon Deck, give you a ritual for the week, answer your questions, plus connect you with a global community. Simply follow + like The Moon Deck on Facebook and @the_moondeck on Instagram to join in. Mark your calendar, spread the word, and join us for this weekly ritual!

About Aarona

Inspired by 23 years of yoga, 14 years as a yoga teacher and wellness adviser, an array of alternative therapies, and a love of writing and travel — Aarona is influenced by several personal-development roadmaps. What started as a personal need for survival eventually became a passion turned profession. As a teacher, speaker, author, business owner, and intuitive oracle reader, Aarona helps to demystify self-love and personal growth while encouraging others to create more wellness in their life through a commitment to daily practice, even if they only have three minutes a day. Starting her own healing journey as a child, her curiosity led her on a life-long journey of study, practice, and ritual where she explored the shadowy depths of healing trauma, fully recovered from chronic cycles of bulimia, and continues to help normalize conversations around emotional health. 
Photographs of Aarona by Haana Thiem.


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I love the idea of writing a loveletter to yourself!

Charmaine Ng | Architecture & Lifestyle Blog

4 years ago

Awesome! It’s really special and works. Hope it went well :)

2 years ago

I love it