Love Letters: Life Lessons

This week’s Love Letters focuses on two questions I actually get asked a lot, both by friends and on this blog. I think it’s important to take a step back from your dating situation every now and then, and see things from a fresh perspective. Often the answers to your questions are quite obvious, you just need to take a breath, and evaluate. Read below to see what I mean.

Q: I am a college student and me and my boyfriend are about seven hours away from each other. Every time I go away to school the distance is a killer. He makes it worse by never initiating to call me and rarely texting me. I’ve told him literally forty times that it bothers me – brings me to tears – that I always have to initiate conversation. I don’t know what else to do. His actions make me feel like he doesn’t care. Any advice?

A: Honestly, I think you need to end this. Not going to sugar coat anything for you here. If his actions make you feel like he doesn’t care, it’s time for you to stop caring, too. You’re in college. You should be enjoying your experience, and learning–in multiple areas of life. This is a lesson, too. This relationship doesn’t sound like it’s bringing positives into your life, only negatives. Set it free, and feel a weight off of your shoulders, and an optimism to explore something new.


Q: I’ve casually dated guys before and it was good at the time, but now I’m over it, and want to be in a real relationship since I’ve never been in one. I just don’t know where to start, really. It used to be simple, but now I’m having trouble finding a guy that I can actually connect with. Please help?

A: This is a really important question, thank you for asking it. There is no scientific formula that’s going to lead you to a relationship. What I can tell you is that taking action, rather than simply waiting for something to come to you, will make you feel empowered, like you’re taking an active role in pursuing a relationship. I do suggest online dating for people who don’t know where to start. This can be a great jumping off point for meeting new people. After that, stay social! Get out in the world with friends and acquaintances and keep your mind open. Good attitudes and karma breed positive results!

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11 years ago

In response to Q. 2: Often, I see friends upset because they haven’t found someone but they also aren’t happy with themselves. You find that relationship, or your “soul mate”, when you are most yourself. Instead of trying to find that person maybe you first need to find yourself– Because he won’t be able to recognize you if you aren’t out embracing your truest, best, joy-filled self.