I had the most peaceful sleep last night. I felt rested and relaxed and woke well before my alarm clock. My body was aching in places I never knew could ache and I did not wake with a headache this time. I was however feeling a little groggy from lack of caffeine, it’s the 3rd day with no coffee and I’m starting to crave it. I walked past the coffee shop on my way to work and the smell almost enticed me in… but then I remembered “The Driver and The Chariot” I didn’t give in.
Throughout my work day I was feeling a lot more focused and a little lighter than I did last week, lighter as in I didn’t have many heavy thoughts weighing me down and it felt good. I researched a little throughout the day on the 26 different postures in Bikram and their benefits. One of my favorite poses, the one I feel more in tune with myself is The Tree Pose. I feel totally relaxed in this pose and surprisingly somewhat elegant. The Tree Pose teaches you to balance and tones the muscles of the leg. You get a great feeling of accomplishment once you’ve figured out how to maintain a strong balance in this pose. It also builds self confidence and esteem.
My work day went quite quickly and before I knew it, it was 5:30pm. Time to leave again and catch the bus, the 105 degree room was waiting for me. The room was so crowed that evening, it seemed almost double the temperature it actually was, but it didn’t bother me too much. I started to enjoy the heat. The instructor entered, “a true yogi learns to mediate, she learns to push away all her thoughts to be able to give herself some time with her inner self, in this class focus on you”, and with that my eyes became fixed in the mirror.
Throughout the class I did not focus on the pain, I learned to push it away even when I was in Standing Head to knee pose which is my most difficult pose. I did not let the pain get the better of me. Instead I focused and tried to ignore it and push through every posture until I couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to gain control. I remember a time when a yoga instructor told me “most pain is your mind labeling a sensation it never had before. Never hurt yourself, you have to come to distinguish the different types of pain. The bad ones you must avoid”.
The 26 postures seemed to go by quickly and smoothly, unlike the first two classes where I found myself watching the clock, kind of wishing the time would go faster. The 90 minutes came to a close and I lay starring at the ceiling feeling good about myself, I felt like I had control, I felt stronger and I had opened a door to a new kind of focus.
The yogi is more tolerant than a tree and more humble than a blade of grass.
I showered, got dressed, and strolled home at 8:30 slowly and thinking to myself, I didn’t rush… I always seem to be rushing… tonight I let time slip away.
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